How to Choose a Care Home for a Parent in Mexico — What to Look For and What to Walk Away From

Most families pick a care home in a hurry — after a scare, on a short trip home, with three days to decide. That's how bad choices get made. If you have any time at all, use it on the visit rather than on the brochure.

A casa de asistencia — also called a casa hogar para ancianos — is residential: your parent lives there. That's a bigger step than a day center, and it's much harder to undo. Before you start touring, it's worth being honest about whether she's actually ready.

First: is she ready, or are you worried?

Those are different problems with different answers.

She may be ready if: she can no longer manage her own basics safely; she's told you she doesn't want to live alone anymore; her needs have outgrown what family and a caregiver can cover.

You may just be worried if: her routine is intact; she's still doing her own errands and seeing her own people; she doesn't want to move; and what actually keeps you up at night is not knowing how she woke up.

The second one is real and it deserves an answer — but a care home is an expensive, permanent answer to a question that a daily check-in answers for almost nothing.

Visit properly — this is the whole decision

The tour they give you is not the information you need. Go back a second time, mid-morning, on an ordinary day, without an appointment.

• Do the residents look occupied, or parked in front of a television?
• Does the staff know residents by name, or by room number?
• Is anyone talking to the residents who can't talk back?
• How does it smell — at 10am, not at 3pm after cleaning?
• Are call buttons within reach of the beds, and do they get answered?
• Is there staff visible, or do you have to go find someone?

Eat a meal there if they'll let you. Sit in the common room for twenty minutes and just watch.

What to ask, and get in writing

• What is included in the monthly price, and what is billed separately?
• What is the staff-to-resident ratio, at night as well as during the day?
• What happens if her needs increase — does she have to leave?
• What is the policy on visits, and are there restricted hours?
• Who administers medication, and what are their qualifications?
• What happens in a medical emergency, and which hospital do they use?
• How much notice is required to leave, and is any deposit refundable?
• Can we see the operating licence and the most recent inspection?

If any of those questions produce a vague answer, ask again in writing.

Red flags — walk away

• They won't let you visit unannounced.
• They discourage or restrict family visits.
• Staff turnover is high, or nobody will tell you what it is.
• The price changes when you ask for it in writing.
• Residents are sedated, silent, or uniformly asleep in the middle of the day.
• They pressure you to decide today.
• They can't produce a licence.

If she's not ready — say so

There is no rule that says worry has to end in a move. Plenty of families tour three places, go home, and realise the thing they actually needed was to stop wondering how she is each morning.

A daily check-in does that. She gets a short message at the same time each day, taps one button, and her family sees it. If she doesn't check in, we let her Circle know — including the cousin who lives close enough to knock on her door.

Cozy is in early access — join the waitlist.

The numbers, for context

According to INEGI, 15.4 million people aged 60 or older live in Mexico, and 1.7 million live alone (INEGI, press release 475/19, ENADID 2018). One-person households rose from 11.7% in 2018 to 14.0% in 2023 (INEGI, ENADID 2023). Most of those people are not in care homes — they're in their own houses, and their families are managing it from a distance.

Cozy Check-ins is a wellness tool to help families stay in touch. It is not a medical, monitoring, or emergency service, and should not be used for emergencies. In an emergency, call 911.